Domestic violence is a silent epidemic that devastates lives and leaves countless victims in its wake—women, men, children, and entire communities. It’s not confined to certain neighborhoods or groups; it knows no boundaries of age, race, gender, or social status. This pervasive issue often remains hidden behind closed doors, but its impact echoes far beyond. As we shine a light on domestic violence, we are not only raising awareness but standing in solidarity with survivors whose voices demand to be heard. This is a fight for dignity, safety, and justice that cannot afford silence.
Our hope is that this blog inspires you to spark meaningful conversations within your community and reassures you that you are never alone on your healing journey. In the following sections, we will define domestic violence, examine key statistics, explore its various forms, and consider how the body of Christ can address this issue. We’ll also provide practical steps and resources for those facing domestic violence, empowering you to take action and seek support.
Domestic Violence Is…
The U.S. Department of Justice defines domestic violence as “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.” Having a clear, universal definition helps to prevent misunderstanding of the use of the term, and allows it to be used appropriately to avoid the re-traumatization of survivors. Specifically, inappropriate use of the language behind traumatic experiences may re-activate (or trigger) the emotional, psychological, or physical reactions that happened when the event first occurred; In other words, the person may be reminded of their past experiences.
With any traumatic experience, each person’s perception of domestic violence occurring is valid, and should be handled with sincere empathy and care. For instance, an empowering way to refer to someone who has gone through domestic violence is to call them a survivor. In her previous blog, Rev. Jocelyn Jones helps us to differentiate the helpful language we can use when speaking about this subject, reminding us that calling a victim a survivor promotes encouragement and acknowledgment. It is also valid to note that the term "domestic violence" can sometimes be referred interchangeably with "intimate partner violence." However, intimate partner violence distinctly refers to violence within romantic or dating relationships, distinguishing it from the broader definition of domestic violence.
Let’s Look at the Facts
To fully support advocacy efforts in the United States, we must first take the time to understand and learn the facts, empowering us to better help those affected. The National Domestic Violence Hotline, a national hotline resource available for 24/7 support and information, presents astonishing statistics on the prevalence of domestic violence. “An average of 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a single year.” This is roughly equivalent to 3.56% of the 336 million people living in the United States being directly impacted each year, making the prevalence of violence drastically increasing daily.
Furthermore, another statistic highlights that “81% of women who experienced rape, stalking, or physical violence from an intimate partner reported significant impacts (short-term or long-term) like injuries or symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder” (National Domestic Violence Hotline; See here for more statistics.) Often, due to the stigma behind broaching domestic violence and intimate partner violence conversations with others, and especially with authorities such as the police, survivors face challenging decisions to make a courageous step in leaving violent situations or to stay silent for protection. If you are someone who is facing this decision, there are safety measures that can protect you, and the first step is being able to recognize signs and types of domestic violence. We will discuss what to look for next.
Types of Violence or Abuse
When we think about domestic violence, physical abuse often comes to mind first. While physical violence is one of the most visible forms of abuse, it's far from the only one. Domestic violence can also show up as emotional, sexual, economic, psychological, technological, or even spiritual abuse. The U.S. Department of Justice emphasizes that these types of abuse, or violence, can happen individually or together, and they may occur once or repeatedly over time. Recognizing the many ways abuse can present is key to truly understanding the issue and supporting those affected, again reminding us that domestic violence does not discriminate.
Abuse can also be distinguished as either overt or covert abuse, which is differentiated by the level of visibility. Overt abuse refers to abuse that is highly visible, meaning that it can easily identified by oneself or others (for example, the abuser yelling, hitting, physical aggression). On the other hand, covert abuse refers to when abuse is less visible and often is hard to distinguish because of it being more intentionally hidden by the abuser (for example, gaslighting, criticism, rejection). Both types of abuse may have severe impacts on survivors, damaging their physical or mental well-being. Let’s look at the types of abuse that may be experienced, either overtly or covertly…
Emotional and Psychological Abuse can occur when manipulation and control tactics undermine another’s self-worth, security, and emotional well-being. It can take the form of criticism, belittling, intimidation, isolation, or gaslighting. From a first-person perspective, it can be hard for survivors to recognize this type of abuse due to their also feeling obligated to protect the romantic feelings of their partner. Emotional abuse can leave painful scars, and that can not be underestimated.
Sexual Abuse can occur when direct or indirect sexual contact is made without the consent of an individual, including but not limited to, coercion, rape, physical sexual attacks, sexual assault, forceful behaviors, sexual contact, or demeaning someone sexually. Unsuccessful attempts at these actions are also considered domestic violence or abuse.
Economic or Financial Abuse can occur by limiting or controlling the financial access of resources from your partner. This may include having full oversight of finances, removing access to accounts, funds, or banks, setting restrictive spending limits or budgets, over-utilizing of credits, misrepresentation in court, or even exploitation.
Technological Abuse can occur when technology is used to manipulate, control, or intimidate someone. This can be done by sending threats via text, phone, or applications, tracking a partners’ location and whereabouts, locking immediate access to accounts or passwords, monitoring access to accounts, social media harassment, or photographing or videoing without consent.
Physical Abuse can occur when the abuser places physical harm on the bodies of victims. This can include hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, biting, shoving, hair-pulling, grabbing, etc., which places undue force on someone. The U.S. Department of Justice also recognizes denying medical care and forcing alcohol or other drugs on someone as physical abuse.
Spiritual Abuse can occur when someone’s spiritual beliefs or faith are used against them by someone else. This can be done by forcing their beliefs onto the victim, instilling fear and extreme obedience to one’s faith, belittling the value of faith or religion, or stripping the autonomy of their faith experiences such as not allowing them to attend religious practices.
A first action step after gaining awareness of domestic violence patterns is beginning to recognize warning signs of domestic violence. You may begin to carefully observe your surroundings, help others gain support when needed, remain watchful of abuse patterns, and turn inward to church community for emotional covering.
Taking Action Against Domestic Violence
Now more than ever, church communities must take a stand to protect members of their congregations from harm, offering a supportive environment for those suffering in silence. We must remember that churches are not immune to domestic violence, and the rate of occurrence sometimes becomes unnoticeable. Today, there is a statistically higher correlation between Christian women within congregations experiencing domestic violence (CBN News). One factor that contributes to this correlation is that Christian women choose to remain silent in fear of shame, guilt, anger, worry, sadness, and grief that comes from domestic violence. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, it's important to understand that help is available, and there are steps you can take toward safety and healing.
If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, there are key steps that you can take to ensure your safety. Choosing to take action takes a considerable amount of courage, and is not an easy step to make alone. Here are some things to consider in taking action.
Creating a Safety Plan
“A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan to improve your safety while experiencing abuse, preparing to leave an abusive situation, or after you leave.” (National Domestic Violence Hotline). The National Domestic Violence Hotline website has an interactive guide with a fillable form to create your own safety plan. You can create one by clicking the link here. You may choose to print the plan, send it to someone to keep for you, place it on your phone or laptop in a safe space, or save it in a private email.
Tell a Safe Person
Telling a safe person about your domestic violence situation can help you to gain protection, support, guidance, and safety. This may include a close friend or family member, pastors or priests, Christian counselor or therapist, prayer partner or small group leader, women or men’s ministry leaders, trusted church elder or deacon, faith-based domestic violence advocates, or faith based support group. It can also help you to relieve the traumatic impact on mental and physical health.
Reach Out to Domestic Violence Shelters or Hotlines
Many survivors face the fear to leave in knowing where they will go next. A first line safe environment to go to is your local domestic violence shelter. If you are unsure of what resources are available to you locally, the police, your church, or counselor may be able to help you. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides a searchable directory by state / zip code of local shelters and resources for survivors. Furthermore, you may also contact the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). You may also text the word “START” to 88788, or visit the website for a chat feature.
Document the Abuse
If you're considering taking legal action, it's crucial to consult with legal advocates in your state to understand what documentation is necessary or what evidence can support your case. The Domestic Violence Hotline outlines several ways to document abuse: visiting a doctor, taking pictures, letting calls go to voicemail, saving digital evidence, creating a stalking log, considering outside documentation, and learning more about police reports. It's also suggested that you use secure digital methods to document the abuse, as written records might be discovered by your partner, which could escalate the situation and potentially lead to more harm. Prioritize your safety when gathering evidence.
Seek Counseling
The psychological and physical impact of domestic violence can leave a lasting impact. It is recommended that if you or a loved one is facing (or have in the past) domestic violence that you may seek counseling services. Whether with a trusted professional or with a church professional, there is someone to help lift you up as you take this healing journey.
Faith on the Journey is available to provide you Christian counseling services, resources, or support. Please visit our website for more information about how to get started today, or reach out to us whenever you need.
About Author
Marisa Bridge, Doctoral Intern with Faith on the Journey, is a Christian Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Ohio. Marisa holds a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health and Addictions counseling from Youngstown State University in Ohio. She is pursuing a Ph.D. in Counseling and Psychological Studies with a focus on Trauma and Crisis Counseling through Regent University in Virginia, as her passion is to help others resolve trauma symptoms by applying faith-based principles. Marisa presently serves individuals, couples
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