Does Crying Help with Emotional Healing? The Truth About the Ugly Cry

Let’s be honest—no one wants to ugly cry. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and if you’ve ever caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror mid-cry, you probably weren’t too impressed. But what if I told you that those tears—the ones you try so hard to hold back—are actually part of God’s design for healing?

Maybe you’ve been through some things. Life has hit you hard, and the weight of it all feels unbearable. But instead of allowing yourself to break down, you push through.

You wipe the tears before they fall, plaster on a smile, and tell yourself to keep moving.

I get it. Society teaches us that crying is a sign of weakness. But the truth? Tears are a gift. They are a release, a way for your soul to exhale the pain you’ve been holding in. And when we allow ourselves to truly feel, we make room for healing.

So let’s talk about the ugly cry—the one we avoid at all costs but desperately need. Let’s break the stigma and discover how those tears might be exactly what your heart has been waiting for.

The Stigmas of Ugly Crying

For many of us, crying—especially an uncontrollable, gut-wrenching sob—is something we’ve been taught to avoid. Here’s why:

• "Crying is a sign of weakness." From a young age, many of us heard, “Stop crying! Be strong!” But strength isn’t about suppressing emotions; it’s about acknowledging them. Even Jesus wept (John 11:35).

• "Crying means you don’t have enough faith." Some believe that if you truly trust God, you shouldn’t be so emotional. But faith doesn’t mean ignoring pain; it means bringing that pain to God. David, a man after God’s own heart, cried out to the Lord countless times in the Psalms.

• "No one wants to see you crying." We’re often told to keep our emotions private because they make others uncomfortable. But true community—true healing—comes when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable with the right people.

• "Crying won’t change anything." Maybe not immediately, but it will change you. Tears release built-up tension, lower stress hormones, and open the door for deeper emotional healing.

How Ugly Crying Helps with Emotional Healing

Once we move past the stigmas, we can start to see the ugly cry for what it really is: a release, a reset, and sometimes, the very thing God uses to bring us peace.

1. Crying Releases Emotional Baggage

Pain has a way of settling deep inside us, showing up in ways we don’t always recognize. It manifests as stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and even physical illness. But when we cry—really cry—our bodies let go of built-up tension.

Research shows that tears release stress hormones, which is why people often feel a sense of relief after crying. It’s as if the body is cleansing itself of emotions that were never meant to be stored long-term.

What if healing comes through tears? What if allowing yourself to break down is the first step toward truly breaking free?

Psalm 56:8 reminds us that our tears are not unnoticed: "You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?"

Your tears matter to God. They are not wasted. They are seen, held, and honored.

2. Tears Allow God to Move in Your Heart

When we refuse to cry, we often end up hardening our hearts—not just to pain, but also to healing. Crying is an act of surrender. It’s admitting, “God, I can’t carry this on my own.”

And that’s exactly where He meets us.

The ugly cry is often a moment of deep vulnerability, where all the walls we’ve built come crashing down. It’s in these moments that we feel God’s presence the strongest, not because He wasn’t there before, but because we finally allow ourselves to receive His comfort.

3. Crying Breaks the Cycle of Suppressed Emotions

Many of us have spent years shoving our emotions down. But emotions don’t just disappear—they manifest in other ways:

• Anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere

• Chronic stress and burnout

• Physical symptoms like headaches and muscle tension

• Irritability and emotional numbness

  
  

When you allow yourself to cry, you break that cycle. You tell your body, “It’s okay to feel. It’s okay to release.” And in that release, healing begins.

4. Tears Help You Connect with Others

There’s something powerful about shared vulnerability. When you cry in a safe space—whether in prayer, with a trusted friend, or in Christian counseling—you invite connection.

We were never meant to carry our burdens alone. Galatians 6:2 tells us, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

When you let yourself cry in front of someone who truly sees you, it opens the door for real connection. And connection is where healing happens.

Final Thoughts

Maybe you’ve been holding back tears for too long. Maybe you’ve believed the lie that crying makes you weak or that no one wants to hear about your pain. But friend, your tears matter.

They matter to God. They matter to your healing. And if things feel too heavy right now, you don’t have to carry it alone.

At Faith on the Journey, we offer Christian counseling to help you process life’s hardest moments. Sometimes, healing starts with one simple step—talking to someone who understands. If you’re ready to take that step, we’re here for you.

Want to dive deeper into this powerful conversation? Tune in to the full episode where we explore the healing power of tears, personal stories, and expert insights. Click below to listen now!